Em’s Wedding: Q & A with the Bride and the Mother of the Bride
Oct 09 2015 · 0 comments · Behind the Design, Em's Wedding, Personal ·1
I thought it would be fun to get our different perspectives on the wedding while it was still fresh in our minds so I tasked my assistant, Jen, with helping me come up with a questionnaire about the wedding planning and the big day itself. Em and I completed our answers separately but as you’ll see we were largely on the same page…
What were you most looking forward to at the wedding?
Pam:
I was most looking forward to Emily and Nick being surrounded by family and friends who were all wishing them love and happiness as they exchanged their vows. Em is a beautiful writer and I knew that she had been making notes about her vows for months. I was so excited to hear their “words of love”.
Emily:
Truthfully, I was most excited about exchanging vows with my husband, Nick. I know it may sound self-indulgent (and we were very focused on making our wedding a really fun party for everyone involved too!) but the thing I continually looked forward to was committing to a lifelong partnership with my best friend in front of all the people who matter most to us. I starting writing my vows the week after we got engaged and continued crafting them for the next eight months. I keep a regular journal and travel often for work so I dedicated the first ten minutes of each flight to editing my vows in a little black Moleskine journal. I think I wrote 16 different versions before I was satisfied.
I was also incredibly excited to see all the people we love in one place at the same time. It was like the best birthday party ever times ten – seeing friends from high school, college, and work meet, mingle, and dance with immediate and distant family members… That was just amazing in every way. I have little snapshots in my mind that I will hold onto forever.
Were you surprised what you loved most about the wedding?
Pam:
No, Emily and Nick were so beautifully spoken and their vows, although private until the ceremony ,were integrated beautifully, thoughtfully and lovingly. I have to admit I loved walking down the aisle with Emily (and her Dad) while my son played “At Last” on his ukulele also.
Emily:
Not really. The ceremony was everything I imagined and more and that’s what I most looked forward to.
How involved were you with the planning of the wedding?
Pam:
I was very blessed that Emily wanted to create this day with me. She relocated to Philadelphia after her engagement. The daily phone calls about wedding details helped me adjust to her new location and kept us close. My daughter is incredibly organized so she kept us on budget with spreadsheets upon spreadsheets (too bad I never really learned how to access them!). Emily is creative in her own way so I was thrilled that we collaborated on the designs for the wedding.
Emily:
I was determined not to hire a wedding planner at the outset, so my mom and I (with lots of help from Nick and my brother Fred) planned everything together. I managed the budget, the timeline, and the “to-do” list and consulted my mom every step along the way. We probably spoke on the phone about the wedding an average of two times per day of the course of eight months. My mom is incredibly creative so I solicited her advice for every visual element from the flowers, colors, photographers, and videographers to the table settings, invitations…the list goes on and on. Nick handled the hotel arrangements, the transportation, and he worked with my brother Fred (who is a musician) on the band and music among other things. It was a group effort all around.
What did you enjoy most about planning the wedding?
Pam:
Planning my daughter’s wedding was something I had dreamed about for a long time. And to plan it with my daughter was the best ever! She was never a Bridezilla. Her creativity and mine were well matched. Em and I are both gardeners now so we collaborated about the shades of flower petals as well as the romantic individual arrangements. She is a gourmet cook and Foodie so her choices for the meal and the presentation were terrific. Together we designed the tablescapes, selected the invitations, and added our own artistic touches wherever we could.
Emily:
Selfishly, I think what I enjoyed most was talking to my family and friends about our plans on a regular basis. Nick and I moved from Boston to Philadelphia a few weeks after we were engaged and living away from everyone I love was a difficult adjustment. The wedding gave us all something to talk about and collaborate on – there was always something to brainstorm about, inspiration to share, decisions to make. Wedding planning kept me in close contact with everyone I love the most.
What was your least favorite part about planning the wedding?
Pam:
When the time came to do the seating plan it was, in a word, difficult. I wanted to be able to sit next to everyone close to me but of course, having 150 people at the same table was impossible.
Emily:
Establishing and sticking to a guest list and then figuring out the floor plan was not easy. Nick and I are blessed to have a lot of friends from all walks of life and we wanted to invite them all, Unfortunately if we’d done that, we would’ve had 350+ guests and the venue only allowed 200. Narrowing our guest list and then figuring out whom to seat where and having to send awkward, apologetic emails to people we couldn’t invite was painful. We reconfigured and floor plan for the zillionth time on the morning of the wedding, ironically, and somehow my sweet husband managed to get the seated arrangements printed and framed (with my brother’s help) about four hours before we exchanged vows. He did a beautiful job too!
Is there anything you would do differently with the wedding?
Pam:
If I had a magic wand I would have added several hours to this incredible day.
Emily:
I would’ve given anything to slow time if that were a possibility. All my married friends warned m that our wedding night would fly by, and I prepared myself for that, but I could never have imagined just how fast it would really feel. I wish I’d been able to spend more time with all of our guest who traveled far to be with us, I wish the dancing lasted four hours longer, I wish I’d tasted everything from the raw bar… The list goes on!
What were some of the special/sentimental details you incorporated into the wedding?
Pam:
Emily created a very special website that told the love story of her and Nick. She also introduced their wedding party with sweet stories about each person. Emily and Nick also asked each mother to speak, which was an honor. Today many wedding ceremonies are not within church walls and at first I was concerned about the less formal outdoor space. However Emily and Nick had a deeply personal and spiritual ceremony with beautiful words and music. It was perfect!
Emily:
Nick and I really wanted to honor our families and the friends who watched our relationship evolve from the time we were colleagues to life partners. We chose to have both of our parents walk us each down the aisle because we feel that both our mothers and fathers helped mold us into the people we are and thus bring us together. The whole “father of the bride giving his daughter way to the groom” never sat well with me – and we agreed that our parents should play equal parts in our wedding. Nick essentially danced dow the aisle arm-in-arm with his parents which our guests loved. My brother Fred, who was my “Man of Honor” played “At Last” by Etta James on his ukulele while my mom and dad walked me down the aisle which was so, so special to me.
Nick and I have a close group of friends and we incorporated them into the ceremony. Our dear friend Ellen officiated our marriage, our friends Chelsea and Patrick read our favorite poems and our best friends and siblings comprised our bridal party. Our mothers read personal letters to us as a couple that incorporated words of wisdom and warm wishes for our marriage which were so heartfelt – we both cried listening to their words. Nick and I wrote our own vows and all of the words used in the ceremony felt very “us”. Sharing very personal promises to each other out loud (despite the tears, stuttering, and laughter) for all our friends and family to hear was an unforgettable moment.
It was such a joy to help plan and be a part of Emily and Nick’s dream wedding! So many wonderful memories of sharing this precious time with my Em…
Looking so forward to what the future brings!
{all photos: Hello Love Photography}
xo,
Pamela
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